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You’re still young! Happy Bday.
- I’m just coming over for the treat. By the way, many happy returns.
- Here is a hug! Happy birthday!!!! PS: I’m broke!
- You just lost one more year of your life. Happy birthday, man!
- It is said that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest. Birthdays are great. Happy birthday, dude.
 Happy birthday, Oldie.
- Happy birthday, Dinosaur.
- You turned 50? Well that botox is certainly working.
- You asked for it. Here is nothing. Happy birthday.
- I hope you see the day when you have no teeth.
- Will there be cake tomorrow or no?
- Happy birthday, my 30-year-old Grandma.
This year, do it your way.
- Want to look young today? Play chess with Grandpa.
- Want to look young today? Go to an old age home.
- You just tuned 40? Well, your mom just told me you are 43.
- Your grandmother wants her walking stick back. Happy Birthday!
- I can never forget your birthday. It always comes after the day you remind me of it. Happy birthday.
- Happy 500th birthday, Vampire. May you stay forever young!
- Do I have to remind you at your age that TODAY is your birthday? Happy birthday to you.
Your age today… is the new black.
- You’re great and even greater on your birthday. YES, I’ve been drinking!
- The funny thing about you is that you age, but your maturity levels always stay the same!
- This time we made sure that your candles cost less than the cake. We just got the two numbers. Have a happy 85th birthday!
- The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day. Just don’t wake up in jail.
- Now it’s time to fall in love, get married and make me a grandparent. And hopefully do all those things in this order! Until then Happy Birthday!
- Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age. Does that mean you started to take the trash out? Happy Bday.
On the occasion of this birthday, looking for the meaning of life in the back of my head.
- This birthday means it’ time to start treating your kids like gold. They’ll be choosing your nursing home soon.
- It’s your birthday. The good news is that you’re only as old as you act and right now you’re in kindergarten.
- I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age. I know how sensitive old folks are about their age.
- Finally you’re 21 and legally able to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14 years old.
- What comes with being 18 years old? Bills, bills and more bills… and waiting three more years to do what you really want.
- I can’t believe you’re 50. You don’t look a day over 49 and a half.
- You know you’re getting old when your kids are lecturing you. Fight the power! Happy Birthday!
- I bet if you knew at 18 years old what you know now, you’d have still done the same stupid things that you did. Here’s to staying young. Happy Birthday.
- I thought about sending you a birthday card mocking your age, but I decided against it. Remember that when you are writing your will.
- You’re the best young person I know. You make me thankful to be old.
- Don’t worry about getting old. You’re still above ground.
- The secret to staying young is lying about your age. Happy Birthday!
Blow this candle and hope for the best.
- Let’s be honest! You don’t really care what I write on this card. You probably won’t even read it. All you care about is the gift inside! And that’s why I love you, happy birthday!
- Consider the positives. You have another birthday and you still have all your teeth.
- I just wanted to remind you that you’re a year older than you were last year.
- Today is the day when everyone reminds you you’re a year older and we all pretend to be happy about it.
- Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over… whatever age you were at your last birthday!
- You had me at “there will be cake and ice cream”. Happy Birthday to a truly special person who admires candy!
Longer Funny Birthday Wishes
- We all knew this day was coming, it’s not bad luck, its nature. It’s best to just suck it up and accept the truth. It’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public. Happy Birthday!
- Mum, it’s that time of year again! You do make it hard for us, don’t you?! You never chose a favorite cake for us to get, or special thing for us to do. You can never give us a list of things you want or favorite meal for us to prepare! You are the hardest woman on earth to please! For these reasons we were forced to make it up, so don’t blame us if the day is not up to scratch! Happy Birthday to the world’s biggest fence-sitting mum!
- Not quite an adult, but no longer a child. This is one of the toughest ages of your life. You have most of life’s firsts to look forward to, and a whole mess of early mistakes to leave behind. Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Stay away from bad boys.
Dear friend, have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets!
- You made it! You are now officially old! Maybe no one else has the guts to let you know, but don’t worry. In my opinion you’ll make a sexy grey fox for sure!
- Another year, another birthday to organize, another headache. You better get used to headaches; they become more and more common when pushing middle age!
- You may be just a one year old baby! So you can’t read this message yet! But since we have Twitter, Facebook and the Cloud, doing this kind of thing now makes sense!
- Last year it was a nice dinner at a fantastic hotel, the year before we went to Vegas, and now this year you’re just staying in? I guess the rumors are true, old age does ruin people. Happy Birthday! Have a good one!
Happy Birthday. Enjoy this day.
- I never celebrate my birthday with a huge party, and you always ask me why. While tomorrow you will be surrounded by mess and a pile of huge hospitality bills, I will be enjoying a nice quiet lie in. That’s why.
- If you are hung over, struggle to think clearly and suffer a terrible headache in the morning, don’t worry. It only means you’ve had one of the best nights of your life!
- If you were a boy I would be telling you to have a great time, not to be shy, to be brave, talk to everyone and not to get into too much trouble! But since you’re a girl I’m obliged to remind you that talking to strangers is a bad idea. Stay away from all naughty looking boys and don’t get into any trouble at all! Enjoy!
- You should see your age as something to boast about, not worry over. The next time someone makes an age joke at you, remind them that you’ve been around longer than they’ve been able to walk, and if they make it to half your age, they should consider themselves lucky!
- To the world’s greatest dad, you make me laugh, you keep me fed, you brush my hair and buy me clothes. So I guess it’s only fair that I return the favor and spoil you this one day of the year! Don’t expect big things though, please remember I’m only small. Happy Birthday.
If we’re late, keep us some cake.
- You probably haven’t been told this before, but when you were first born the doctors thought there was something wrong with you! With those eyes, strange ears and funny nose, it’s genuinely quite amazing they ever let you leave the hospital.
- To my dearest, most favorite and most precious little sister. Our family was so very blessed the day you were born. It was such a joy to grow up with you and share so many great moments together. Remember these kind words when you’re cutting and dishing out the cake portions later!
- The best thing about your birthday is that you’ve now reached the age to say: “Those kids don’t know anything. When I was young…” and then go on blathering all day, annoying everyone around you.
- I just wanted you to know that they say 50 is the new 30, skinny jeans are out and the saggy, relaxed look is in! Also, neatly pressed polo shirts are out and well worn and wrinkled is in! Happy Birthday you trendsetter you!!
May your day be more beautiful than a Unicorn farting rainbows!
- Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. You smell like my husband and you sorta look like him too.
- You remind me of a jar of pickles. You’re pretty well preserved for your age. Happy Birthday, my dear old friend!
- Happy Birthday—-& just to let you know the tablecloth is flame resistant, I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire extinguisher under the table.
And then he tells me I’m just 27.
- I have sources that have informed me that it’s your birthday and that you are a die-hard Obama fan. Enjoy this premium roast coffee that is imported and served at the White House! Kenya Arabica Bean Anniversary of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth blend.
- You have more preservatives in you than a jar of mayonnaise! There isn’t an expiration date on your bottom, is there? Happy Birthday, my fantastically well preserved friend!
- My momma always said “Life was like a box of chocolates. You gotta keep sticking your finger in them until you find the one that you want to get.” Happy Birthday.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
- “You want answers?! You can’t handle the truth!” …but I will tell you anyways. It’s your god*amn birthday!
- I hope your birthday leaves you less hot & bothered than when you read 50 Shades of Grey. Happy Birthday.
- Don’t think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as creases that just need some starch and a bit of ironing. Cheers to another year & another crease.
- Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…..
Birthdays are a freud. Nobody is getting any junger.
- Congratulations! You are another year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear that you can pee in!!
- Brother, I figured today would be as good a day as any to tell you that you were adopted!! Just kidding. Happy Birthday—or is it??
- Lucille Ball said it best when she said, “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” May you stay forever 28—LIAR!
Lucille Ball said it best when she said: The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age! May You stay forever 28…Liar!
- I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid. If you are now singing the end of this magical verse, you are most certainly an 80s kid. Happy Birthday to my NKOTB loving, neon scrunchy wearing, slap bracelet collecting friend.
- If you’re having vanilla cake I would like some ice cream… but on the side. If it’s chocolate cake, no ice cream. If you’re having vanilla and chocolate marble cake, I would like the ice cream served on top of the cake. If there’s no cake, than just a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Happy Birthday to a friend that always goes above and beyond!!
- I hope you enjoy your birthday as much as Kim Kardashian enjoys taking selfies!
- I would like to wish you a politically correct birthday so I won’t encourage overindulgence of alcohol, getting less than the recommended 9 hours of sleep, or listening to excessively loud rock music…..but happy birthday, even if all the fun has been sucked out of it!
And I’m saving all my love for your birthday cake tonight.
- Chuck Norris wanted to apologize for not being able to make it to your birthday party. He was busy geocaching in Antarctica. Happy Birthday.
- Cougar was so last year. This year you are a cheetah, fierce & fabulous!! Happy Birthday!!!
- If ‘only the good die young’,…..I’m afraid you’re going to be celebrating a few more birthdays.
- One must not simply wish someone a happy birthday, one must shout it from the rooftops, start a conga line in the middle of town, resurrect Julia Child to bake a triple layer ice cream cake!
- Do you want to eat some ice cream? Come on, how about some chocolate cake? I never see you anymore. Come out the door. Come on let’s go and make a wish! Don’t tell me to ‘let it go’ because your birthday comes only once a year. We used to be best buddies but now we’re not. Do I really smell that bad? I want to wish you happy birthday, to your face. Not from behind a door.
I love parties. Happy Birthday.
- I’m glad I don’t need Facebook to tell me it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday!
- To show how not old we are I am going to wish you happy birthday in under 140 characters. #happybirthday #youngandhot #stillgettingcarded
- Happy Birthday to someone who is aging better than Britney Spears AND Lindsay Lohan!!
- Happy 16th Birthday, Sweetie! After digging out your old baby photo albums, I found the cutest picture of you wearing nothing but socks and a smile! I wished you happy birthday on your Facebook and Instagram. I couldn’t figure out how to upload the darn photo on Twitter. I hope you have a great day! I love you!
Just call me when the cake comes in.
- May the odds be ever in your favor… and if they’re not I hope there is a Katniss to take your place because it isn’t going to be me!
- Brace yourself. An explosion of Facebook notifications is coming. Happy Birthday from the Lannisters… we neverforget.
- “We got no food! We got no jobs! Our pets heads are falling off!!” I hope you are having a better day than Harry & Lloyd. Happy Birthday, friend!
- You’re depressed about being another year older? Look on the bright side, you don’t live in North Korea where that evil dictator Kim Jong-un could kill you for it.
- You know you’re old when your social calendar has bi-weekly ‘meet friends for coffee @ blood pressure clinic’ on it. Happy birthday, you old fart.
- I promise when you get old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself. Happy Birthday, Mother!
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Birthdays are special to all of us. If anyone forgets to wish you on your day, chances are high that you will never forget that they didn’t. It is important to wish loved ones, friends and family on their special day and put a smile on their face. Birthday wishes make people feel loved and remembered. A call, text or even a Facebook message goes a long way in saying “we care”. A simple call at midnight to wish “Happy Birthday” or a bouquet of flowers with a card and chocolates does the trick.
Amazing writing skills. I just loved it.
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Thank You.